I want to start today’s show with a quote, and we’ll dissect it together as we go along.
“Until you make the unconscious conscious it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”
What does this mean?
We all have our internal narratives, the things we identify ourselves with. There are factual narratives and made up or perceived narratives we believe are true. The keyword here is “believe” which implies this could be fictional or untrue. You may have heard other coaches, therapists or healers refer to them as your internal stories.
Some examples of factual narratives could be I am a woman, I am a mother, I am a wife, I am a daughter. I am a business owner. Etc.
Can you think of some fictional narratives? What are you be telling or thinking about yourself that could be untrue?
Some of the examples I hear from my clients are “I am weak, I am untrustworthy, I am incapable, I can’t have this or that, I don’t deserve X, Y or Z. Where I come from we don’t think like that. I am a woman, therefore, I am not entitled to that.”
Some of my stories were “I can’t have a successful business while raising small kids”, “being rich must be nice, but it’s not for me. All I need is just a roof over my head and food to eat and I’ll be fine. I’m good with having enough, not too little but not too much.”
We tell ourselves these stories all the time! The moment you become aware of them, you realize that no one was pressuring you to think a certain way, but you. You are literally the creator of your life.
A few weeks ago I was talking about the importance of using “I am” statements with caution and intention. Because every time you say something about yourself you are creating your current reality and also who you want to be. So if you’ve missed that one, please go ahead and listen to it. I want every mother to be honest with herself and raise daughters who are living in alignment with their truth and not with self-imposed depressing narratives! This is something you can change for yourself and your family.
Today I am not going to get into that. Today’s topic is actually something I am currently learning and incorporating into my coaching practice and one of my followers requested me to talk about it in greater detail. So here we go!
Today I want to talk about our physical body and how it is seen as the symbolic form of the mind and spirit. Our state of consciousness literally affects our physical expression and matches, challenges and communicates almost one-to-one with our body. This means that we have several sub-conscious levels of ourselves (again, that we might be unaware of) that are influencing and reflecting on us all the time.
This is not some woo-woo stuff, and I am definitely not new to teach this. These are the teachings or Luise Hay, Dr. Wayne Dyer, Dr. Christiane Norturup, and other great teachers and healers that embrace the holistic and incorporate that into their practice. The body is not separate from the mind and spirit and it just makes sense that when we are going through emotional turmoils that are unexpressed or properly processed the energetic residue is being “stuck” inside of the body and manifested as a physical symptom.
One of my favorite quotes of all time is:
“We are not human beings having a spiritual experience, rather we are spirits having a human experience”
Knowing this makes a total sense! Think about yourself as an energetic being through which energy flows constantly.
If that doesn’t make sense to you, let’s do an exercise together and I guarantee that you have access to that as well, you just haven’t been taught how to tap into that. If you are not driving right now I’d like you to find a quiet place where you can sit with closed eyes and just breath. In through the nose and out through the nose. Keep your mouth closed, relax your jaw muscles, come to a complete relaxation and a feeling of ease.
Now, as you breathe, I would like you to imagine yourself as a vessel, as a container through which energy flows. Remember that you exist in between two energetic spheres – mother earth and father sky and in order to feel a part of creation you must make sure this energy which flows in an upward spiral from your feet (if you’re standing) or your pelvis (if you’re sitting), and flows all the way through your solar plexus, the heart, throat, crown of head and out into the sky.
For the next few minutes, just breath and imagine this energy flowing from bottom to top. Now put one hand on your heart and the other on your belly. Keep breathing. And now ask yourself, where is this energy stuck in your body? Is it in the hips? Pelvis? Stomach? Heart? Throat? Eyes?
I really hope you’ve done this exercise, it is super helpful to know how it feels to be in alignment with nature and creation and how to feel connected between the two polar and contrasting energies we are constantly between – father sky and mother earth. Masculinity vs. femininity. The Yin and the Yang.
Now you can open your eyes. If you’ve done the exercise you are now convinced that energy exists. Now let’s walk through a few examples so it makes sense to you even more.
I want to share a few examples of symptoms some of the women I worked with experienced, and how these symptoms helped them in understanding what their body-mind was trying to communicate about them. Hopefully, this will help you start this process as well.
I believe that as women and mothers we are healers and we can literally change or create our realities with the power of our subconscious mind, which is active even if you are unaware of it. The subconscious mind always strives to be expressed and to come out to the surface. The more you try to suppress it the more physical symptoms will be manifested.
One of my clients has been experiencing thyroid issues for years. Extreme fatigue, moodiness, low libido, inability to start the day with ease, she felt like she has to drag herself out of bed every day and she felt like she is not living her best life and wished to be like she was before having kids.
Let’s talk about the neck and throat area. Psychospiritually, the neck is the bridge between the head and the body. The head represents our intellectual abilities to express how we feel, rationalize and use logic in communicating our needs, and the body represents our intuitive/gut feelings. The neck is in between them both and when someone is feeling a blockage of energy in that area it might be a sign that they are having trouble expressing their unique voice. A blocked expression such as the internalization or fear can cause us to subconsciously censor ourselves when we need to speak up and can end up as chronic neck tension and pain, throat infections, thyroid problems or sudden hoarseness of the voice.
So, if you have issues in that area of your body, what could be the message from your emerging awareness? Ask yourself – What am I not respecting or expressing about myself? Why do I not think my opinion/voice is worth being heard? What am I fearful of exposing to others? What do I really want? What am I ignoring or devaluing that is important to me? Take these questions into your journal and allow your inner wise mother to guide you to the truth. Again, your body is not against you. Your body wants to help you and these symptoms are messages and clues from your unconsciousness saying “pay attention to me!!”.
Let’s do another example. Years ago I’ve had chronic pain in my shoulders. Pain, inability to keep my shoulders straight, pain, discomfort, etc. Shoulders reflect our relationship with the burden of responsibility; its connection to conflict, power, and integrity; along with the potential for expression of joy, openness, and strength. One of the world’s leader in this approach is Marion Rosen, the founder of the Rosen method and he refers to the shoulders as should-ers. If you find yourself constricted by coulda-shoulda-woulda you may be having some tension in the shoulders. This is very common among women as we are raised to be “good girls” and it takes years to unlearn this.
Specifically, the right shoulder relates (in its negative manifestation) to powerlessness, frustration, and anger. Positively, it concerns our ability to set clear boundaries, learning to say ‘no’ and valuing our own worth and integrity. Which, thankfully I learned through working with the body, yoga, and food. The left shoulder, on the other hand, relates to the heart and the ability to express yourself emotionally. Notice yourself, do you tend to follow your heart (which is on the left side of the body) or do you crush your own spirit through the excuses of responsibility, guilt, and duty?
Here are some journaling prompts you can work through in order to start releasing some of your constriction in this area of the body:
- Learn to recognize when others overstep your boundaries or disrespect you and develop the courage to set limits or just say no.
- Ask yourself, why do you allow yourselves to do something you actually don’t want or even need to do? Why do you assume the responsibility is always yours? Learn to delegate and share responsibility. That’s a big one! I know!
- Identify the areas (people, relationships, situations) that drain your energy and assess whether they need to be in your life anymore.
Another very common body area women have physical symptoms with is the solar plexus, the stomach area, and mid back areas. I’ve had clients who’ve had ulcers, digestive issues, unexplainable pain in the stomach, purging. All of these symptoms have a direct link to the inability to process stress, anxiety, and stress. Think about it, where do you feel stress in the body? Usually, it will be felt in the abdomen area. So, if you have a tendency to worry a lot or think about the worst case scenarios, most likely this area would be sensitive. Think of worrying about something without action to resolve it as a kind of poor digestive ability. Thoughts and emotions cannot be broken down, sorted and used effectively. Instead, they churn around without being digested and we feel stuck, anxious and powerless to do anything.
By the way, this is a learned behavior, and with intention and dedication can be unlearned.
The gut is our second brain and houses nerve cells that have the ability to process emotions and feelings. That is why the expression “gut-feeling” is real. I’m not going to get into the science of the microbiome which is fascinating on its own and I recommend you to look it up if you are particularly interested, but for now let’s just see what are the things you can do to help alleviate some of the symptoms you may have associated with this area of the body.
Many women who have issues with this area of the stomach tend to manifest hormonal imbalances, the breasts, infertility, and issues with their menstrual cycle because intuition is the domain of the feminine. Ancient traditions and cultures relied heavily on their women to predict and trust their ability to “know” and follow their intuition in order to lead the tribe. The more out of tune we are with our feminine intuitive compass the more issues we tend to manifest in our female organs. Again, your body is not punishing you, rather, it wants you to rise up and claim your true power as a healer, leader, and divine being that you are!
So what are some things you can start doing in order to start bringing more balance into this area of your body?
- Trust in our own resourcefulness. You are not a victim of circumstances. You can change your situation. Trust your humanness. Your abilities. Trust that the creator made you capable.
- Ask for help! Stop thinking you can do everything yourself!
- Don’t procrastinate on your dreams and aspirations. You know what you need, take action.
- Let go of your dysfunctional relationship to your mother which is a topic for a separate podcast, but I just want to add this here because many women with stomach issues have unresolved trauma related to their mothers or significant women in their lives.
Lastly, I want to talk about two very common areas women complain to be about and these are hips and lower back. Gosh, so many women with hormonal imbalances have issues with their lower back, so let’s see what might be happening here.
The hips area is where the body produces a sense of balance, homeostasis, and power. If you’ve ever heard about imbalances of the second chakra this is where it would come from. This is where creativity, sexuality, money wounds, originate from. It all goes back to feeling powerlessness and frustration symbolized as inflexibility, pain, and inflammation in the hips.
The low back literally holds our entire body frame. Going back to your connection between mother earth (downward energy which pulls you down closer to earth – where all of your five senses are engaged with food, sex, sleep or other earthly activities that sometimes feel like if you do a lot of them, you’re not realizing your full potential as a human being), and father sky (the energy that pulls your up towards higher realms, spirituality, God, higher self, or that soul ache that whispers in your war that you want more out of life). These two realms are held and supported by your lower back.
Common problems in this area like lumbar pain, lumbago, and so-called ‘slipped disk’ can be the result of physical exhaustion, taking on too much responsibility and chronic fear/survival issues that could be dominating your life.
In my conversations with women I’ve heard of feelings of inadequacy and performance anxiety (including sexual performance and confidence) combined with survival stresses (money problems, health and relationship issues) sometimes literally become the ‘straw that broke the camel’s back’.
So, what are some things you can try to bring this area of your body into balance?
- Stop doing so much and allow more time to just be
- Rest the physical body. Less outgoing and more incoming energy. Also, allow yourself to be fed more by the energy of “father sky” as opposed to the material world.
- Do not get stuck in negativity or hopelessness. Change your situation before it causes you harm. There are many things you have no control over, but this is something you can actually change with the right intention and mindset.
So, as you can see, physical symptoms, illnesses, disease are not punishment or a pain in the butt! Symptoms can serve to focus our awareness on areas of our self we need to develop, understand and act upon. In this way, symptoms are actually our biggest gifts and teachers. It all comes from a deep and rooted place of trusting life, trusting your body and trusting that everything happens for you, not to you.
Imagine how different our society and health care would look like if people were empowered to look within instead of looking for external solutions like pills, medication or other ways to mask these symptoms. It is one thing to ask for temporary relief through these strategies, but a completely other when we completely rely on them to feel good or heal. Healing doesn’t come from a pill. Imagine how different our homes would look like if we, mothers, understood this stuff and guided ourselves and our children to look for spiritual, emotional or mental connections and clues as to why they think a certain symptom was manifested.
I am going to leave you with this quote by Marianne Williamson which I think encompasses all of this beautifully:
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
I’m sending you much love and healing, until next time.
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